Every weekday morning, Salem Patch provides our readers with a bulleted list of the entries included in the Salem Police Department's log from the day before.
Over the last 12 months, we have published some truly bizarre entries.
Here are our picks for 2012's most bizarre police log entries:
A past break-in was reported on Green Street. The man told police he had just returned home with his family and noticed that one of the family's couches had been urinated on. The man said his dog was loose while he was gone, but would not have urinated there.
Police said a man was arrested at 5:11 p.m. after they received a call from Wal-Mart about a shoplifter with a knife who was stealing MP3 players and Extenze male enhancement pills.
No drugs here, just puppies.
Police received a call about possible activity involving drugs on North Street by McGlew Park. Police said there was no problem; people were just looking at puppies that one of their dogs had recently delivered.
Police received a call about a woman with a cat at the Washington Street Dunkin' Donuts.
Police received a call about a woman throwing food at a customer inside Wendy's. Officers said the woman, who has a no trespass order, left before police arrived, as did the other customer. Police were not able to find the woman and said she would be summonsed to court for trespassing.
You're going to miss the bus.
A Congress Street woman called police to tell them her son told her he was sick and didn't want to go to school, but she didn't believe him. The woman said even though she didn't believe him she agreed to take him to see a doctor. The woman said she has been having problems with her son, and he was told to follow household rules as long as he lives there.
No, really - it's last call.
A customer refusing to leave was reported at In a Pig's Eye. Police said the woman was slightly intoxicated. Employees said the woman "did not believe bar staff when last call was announced. She was assured that there was no trickery taking place." Police said the woman was allowed to return to her room at the Waterfront Hotel.
A naked man in the women's bathroom at Target was reported to police. When they arrived, police spoke to a man who said "he had just had fast food and had to use the restroom real bad, and that he did not know that he had gone in the women's bathroom." Police said the man did not have any warrants and was waiting for a ride to go home.
Damage to a vehicle on Liberty Hill Avenue was reported. Police said a passenger window was open and there was cat litter and animal feces in the passenger compartment of the truck. Police are investigating the incident.
A sausage-and-biscuit-inspired break-in.
Police responded to McDonald's on Canal Street after an alarm went off. An officer spoke to a man who said even though he saw all the signage and the exterior lights off, he decided to enter the building anyway. Police said the man tried the front door and it was unlocked, so he let himself in. Then, the alarm sounded. The man told the officer "he was unsure of the restaurant's closing time and was interested in a sausage biscuit." He apologized, and was sent on his way, police said.
A man stuck in a tree was reported on Oakview Avenue. The Salem Fire Department assisted. According to scanner reports, the man was hanging in a tree with a broken ladder under him. He was assisted to the ground.
Police said they received a call a man wouldn't leave the bathroom at the Hawthorne Hotel. The night manager said the man had been in the men's room for a period of time and would not come out. Police spoke to the man, and he said he fell asleep on the toilet. A no trespass order was issued.
Police arrested Christel Thompson after police said she crashed into a telephone pole on Fort Avenue. Police said the pole was sheared off at the bottom and broken halfway up. Police said Thompson told them "I felt like a ghost was driving the truck. It was going left and right." Police said the woman failed three field sobriety tests.
Police responded to the Custom House. The lead park ranger told police earlier in the day, a person was attempting to paraglide on Derby Wharf. Rangers advised the man it is against Federal regulations to paraglide on the property.
Harassing phone calls were reported. A woman told police she has received 12 harassing telephone calls on her home phone.The responding officer said "she played two of them back for me on her machine and on one a male voice called her by name and told her that he wanted to eat her heart. Another one just kept saying hello," police said.
Police received a call from a woman on New Derby Street who said she came outside "and found a homeless guy urinating on her motor vehicle."
Police responded to Lafayette Street on a call about a naked man behind a building in a parking lot. Police arrested Louis St. Pierre (see below) after police encountered him "wearing nothing except a pair of sneakers."
A squirrel stuck in a ceiling was reported on Saunders Street. The person was advised to call pest control.
Police received a call about a past simple assault on Ocean Avenue. A man told place he was assaulted in his home by an unknown man. The man said he was sitting on his bed looking at his computer when the unknown man approached him and "sucker punched him in the side of the head." The alleged victim said the man told him "his name was 'Ghost' and then he ran out of his apartment."
Herbicide by pesticide.
Malicious damage to property was reported on Pierpont Street. A woman told police a landscaper told her that her grass and shrubs had been poisoned. The officer saw brown patches on the woman's yard. He also found dead shrubs on the right side of the house. The woman thinks her neighbor did it, but police said the woman has no evidence.
You can just park that anywhere.
A vehicle abandoned in the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru on Highland Avenue was reported to police. The officer said the car had two flat tires. The owner said AAA didn't show up the night prior, and she left her vehicle there. The woman was told the property owner could tow the vehicle. Employees were advised to contact the property owner if they wanted the vehicle towed.
Police said a man with a sign in the median strip was reported at Essex Street and Dalton Parkway. Police said they spoke with a man who said he and his friend cleaned the memorial on Dalton Parkway after it had been painted on. The man said he and his friend made signs to hold to show their support on the holiday. The man said as they were loading the car to leave for the day, a man started yelling at him and wouldn't stop even though they told him they were leaving. The man was described as 5'7" with gold chains on and very crowded teeth. The man also told police the man "walked with his arms away from his side as if 'carrying watermelons.'"
Just enjoying my swim.
A man fully clothed in a pool in the rain was reported at 190 Bridge St. (Jefferson at Salem Station Apartments). Police spoke to a man who was found in the pool area. Police said he was a resident and provided a valid ID. Police said the man was allowed to continue his swim.
Police responded to Forest River Park on a report dogs attacked other dogs. The officer spoke with a man who said his dog was attacked by another dog. The man admitted both dogs were unleashed at the time. While the owners were attempting to separate their animals, police said two other unleashed dogs "ran into the affray…creating a bigger battle between now five dogs. Police said all three owners involved were able to get their dogs away from one another without incurring any injuries. All three owners were issued citations for having unleashed animals in the park.
A "foul odor from a rug," was reported on Park Street.
Thanks for the good times.
Police received a report from Winter Island of a problem with a homeless man camping on the property. According to police, the night before, the man slept on the ground outside of tents on a rented campsite. In the morning, the man allegedly wrote a note to the people in the tents, thanking them for use of the site. The couple and four kids in the tent, had no knowledge the man was outside until they got his note.
A woman reported someone entered her home without breaking anything "and stole spinach and bacon from her ice box." The woman said she thinks someone she knows may have done it.
A naked man in the street was reported on Essex Street.
UFO sightings over Salem.
Objects floating were reported at Boston and Pope streets. Scanner reports from that time indicated a caller reported a UFO.
A Shark Week showdown gets a bit too noisy.
A Downing Street resident reported a man and woman were arguing. Police said both people "stated they were arguing over the shark show on TV and that they were not having a serious argument with each other."
A Jefferson Avenue caller reported six orange traffic cones were left in her convertible. Police said "she believes that it was just a prank originating from the Salem High School football program." Police said no damage was reported and the cones were put in the Department of Public Works Yard.
A man reported he broke a tooth on a crab rangoon at a restaurant on Highland Avenue. The man told police there was a hard object in the food. The man was advised the incident would be documented, but it was a civil matter.
Police received a call about a low-flying paraglider over the James Ayube Bypass Road. The man was located in Furlong Park and arrested for disorderly conduct.
The great kitty escape.
Police said missing cats were reported at Northeast Animal Shelter. A staff member said upon arrival Sunday morning an open window was found along with a screen on the floor. Four cats that were in the room were missing. Police said the shelter staff was not able to find the cats. The window was "left open and the screen was very loose," according to police. "The screen had multiple holes on it, and it appeared that the cats knocked off the screen and got outside." Police said it did not appear there was any forced entry. Police said the shelter will continue looking for the cats.
An Ocean Avenue West caller reported someone covered his vehicle in toilet paper and baby powder. Police said the same thing happens every few months.
An assault by means of beans.
Police responded to a road rage incident at Wal-Mart. Police said after a brief investigation it was determined a woman would be summonsed to court on a charge of assault with a bag of beans.
Lost teeth were reported on Margin Street. Police said a person reported she lost the front bridge of her teeth, but wasn't sure where she let them.
Police said a woman reported she was on Lynde Street exiting her vehicle when she fell into a pothole.
Police received word that a dog named "Buttons" had gotten off of its leash and dove into the canal off of Commercial Street. Local firefighters were able to retrieve the pup and returned him to his owner.
A woman on Carpenter Street called police to report that she was hearing noises coming from the third floor and she feared someone was upstairs. Responding officers reportedly found that two bats flying around on the third floor were responsible for the noises. The bats were reportedly captured and released.
A grinch strikes in Salem.
An employee at Maria's Sweet Somethings called police to report that a woman was trying to steal a string of Christmas lights off of the shop's front bushes. Police were unable to find the woman, who reportedly fled the area holding plastic candy canes.
If you have a question about any of these log entries, please send it to Salem Patch.