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Health & Fitness

EAT THIS!! Dear Squrriel....(Squirrel Stew)

An open letter to the Squirrel who broke into my kitchen and a lovely Squirrel Stew Recipe

Dear Squirrel,

So…after last year’s buffet that you hosted for you and
about 30 of your little squirrel friends in my freshly planted garden you
thought it was a good idea to build your own “entry way” through the screens in
my kitchen windows while I lay helpless in the other room recovering from
surgery?
I have to be a friend here and say that I honestly feel like
this was not one of your better ideas. Frankly I your behavior was reckless and
it hurt my feelings. You have betrayed a trust …an understanding that entitled
you to free rain over my garbage bins .  Your
blatant disregard for proper eating etiquette  is what bothered me the most.  You eat like an animal! I’m surprised that
you failed to notice the plates , napkins and cutlery that were sitting right
there on the dishwasher. You must have seen them on your way up to the top of
my refrigerator  where you disembodied my
Life Cereal box.

I have witnessed you many times gracefully cracking open nut shells on my porch with your little fingers and hands ..I don’t see why you had to tear through the plastic of my weight watchers English muffins ?If you had just taken a minute to remove the little twist tie you could have properly enjoyed them.  I even left the toaster out . Personally I feel that a plastic free english muffin toasted topped with some blueberry preserves is a much better choice.

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For future reference the juicer is in the cabinet to the left of the fridge. I’m not sure how satisfying grapefruit rind is on a hot summer day maybe it’s an acquired taste. I’m not here to judge but in my experience dealing with food I have found the inside to be the most flavorful part of the grapefruit.

As for the massacre that took place on the bushel of corn I
got from the Farmers market…it looked like a crime scene! Did the corn fight
back? At first glance you would suspect that a struggle had actually ensued.
What did that corn ever do to you besides provide you with nourishment?

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I’m disappointed Squirrel. What happen to the happy squirrel
I used to know who enjoyed water skiing , wearing little red fez hats and
riding tricycles? Maybe you have fallen in with a bad squirrel crowd and you
are in over your head. But we all have to life make choices. You chose poorly
and now we can never be friends again. I hope these new friends of yours will
keep you warm in your tree house this winter and keep your little belly full.
Because you are now cut off! I’m removing the squirrel feeder. You obviously
don’t need it anymore now that you have chosen to live a life of crime. In the
words of my ex-boyfriend after we broke up “good bye and good luck!”  -Jade

p.s. I am making an extra special recipe this week. I hope
you enjoy “you” stew!!!



Squirrel Stew

3 squirrels skinned and cleaned

3 quarts water

¼ cup bacon

1 cup diced onions

2 cans diced tomatoes with juice

2 cups potatoes

2 cups corn

1 tsp thyme

2 tbsp butter

Salt and pepper to taste

Cut the squirrel into
pieces. In a large pot bring water to a boil.. Add squirrel and all other ingredients, (with the exception
of the tomatoes), to the boiling water, cover, and simmer for 1-1/2 to 2 hours.add
tomatoes and continue to simmer another hour.

 

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